1) We have a spot on our body that is our "cryptonite" and it's at the back of our neck, underneath our ears and when we can hear you breathing excitedly or when you nibble lightly on our neck, we turn into a big bowl of LUSTY VIXEN jello. We are all yours when you spoon with us and nibble on that area. 2) When we ask if we look fat in something, we are hoping you might give a compliment of some kind. If you don't want to answer the question, compliment us on some other feature. (Do tell us if the outfit is just really hideous and embarrassing. If it's not, just tell us sincerely we look beautiful.) 3) No, we do not want to give you a b.j. during the football game unless you want to go down on us while we are watching The Shopping Channel. 4) We have been convinced by the media that we are inadequate, too fat, too skinny, too ugly, etc. We need to hear what you think of us. We need to hear you think we are hot. We need to hear this every other day! 5) Front to back ONLY ever! Our va jay jay is very sensitive and a complicated place. Please keep your fingers clean, nails cut short, and never ever go back to front. 6) Our nipples are not radio dials. Please massage our breasts gently and start off slow with the nipple nibbling so we can warm up to some more intense nibbling. We NEVER enjoy the MOTORBOAT action on our bewbies. You can warm up our nipples with some Nipple Nibbler that makes them taste great and warms up our nipples with a little bit of menthol. 7) We love porn, too. Stop hiding your stash so well.. it just forces us to search in all of your special hiding places when we want to borrow it. And, no, even though we have teeny tiny breasts it does not offend us that all of your porn starts with the words "Juggs." We know you like variety. 8) We LOVE to receive oral sex, too. PERIOD. END OF STORY. No, we don't want to 69. We want to just relax and receive and just get lost in it like you do. 69 occasionally, but let's just take turns like lesbians do. Did you know when surveyed, girl/girl couples have the highest sexual satisfaction. They know what they are doing! 9) Luxury sex toys do not replace you, they enhance you. Stop being jealous of something like Lelo vibrators that can only help you
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